July 8, 2007

I kissed dating goodbye

It’s over. The fat lady has sung. Elvis has left the building.

The idea of traditional dating doesn’t appeal to me anymore. Does it appeal to you? If it does, you should have your head examined.

It goes something like this:

Boy meets girl
Boy likes girl
Boy asks girl to _________
Boy drives to pick up girl
Boy pays for ___________
Boy drives girl home
Boy gets a kiss on the cheek and a hug for his efforts.

Lots of resources and experts abound for "how to meet women." With some social skills and a little effort, it’s not too difficult.

As a teenager, my mother would ask me every year what I wanted for Christmas. I would always reply “something five-foot-two and eyes of blue” under the tree. She would laugh and say, “you wouldn’t know what to do with her.”

We know what Mom meant, but I think her words are profound.

What ARE you going to do when you get one?

Wine and dine? Woo and coo? Tell her how wonderful you think she is (because that’s what women say they want)? Spoil her? Pamper her? Stay up all night talking? Drop all your friends to spend time with her? Marry her?

Dating ads are ripe with requests from women for a “man” that will do all these things. It’s funny because they are describing their best girlfriend.

Here’s what you should do when you get one:

Hang out with your man friends just like always.
Dole out those compliments to her sparingly.
Speak your mind, don’t tiptoe around her feelings.
Have her cook for you.
Tell her no, often. You heard me, “NO.”
Keep her hands off your money. Do not pay for her necessities (clothes, food, rent, etc)
Take her to do the things you want to do.
Be creative and spend less money on activities (parks, lakes, beaches, coffee houses...)
Limit the amount of time you spend together.
Let her calls go to voice mail, answer sparingly.
Still look at and talk to other women. She’s not your wife.

If she sticks around, it’s because she likes YOU. She should stick around because of your identity as a man, not just what you can provide.

Please, please, please… don’t get sucked into her harlequin novel. A good man is hard to find, make her earn her keep.


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