Be a triple threat...

Threat one: Lifestyle

Your lifestyle has so much to do with who will be attracted to you. If you are a fun, social, outgoing guy with good people skills you will attract fun, social women who like to go out. Push yourself to become more friendly cool (not clingy creepy) and draw more folks into your sphere of influence.

What can you do today to expand your social circle and improve your friendships?

• Send a text to your buddy.  
• Check in with new friends. 
• Make definite plans to hangout together.
  

Threat two: Sex

Someone posed this question to me a year ago: "How do you find girls like sex?  in other words whats the best way to sex them up" 

Here's my experience:

• Women like sex with guys they like. 
• Women enjoy sex with guys they like who know how get them off.
• Women will hang on to guys that are lackluster in the sack as long as they like him outside the bedroom.
• Women will chase and sponsor guys they like who know how to get them off.
  

The best way I have found to bang her (so that I get invited back) is the way that gives her an orgasm.  Find out what gets her off and then decide if you like doing that.  Find out if she likes doing what gets you off.  It's called sexual compatibility.

Sometimes the situation calls for foreplay.  Sometimes the situation calls for fast action.  There is an almost infinite combination of foreplay, positions, and sexual acts.  Your confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac for her.


Threat three: Intrigue

Here's a real life example...

1) I met this woman and we exchanged phone numbers after the first encounter.  Two days later I had a 20 minutes conversation with her.

2) I did not text her or call her incessantly after that.

3) Three weeks after that, I saw her in a bar and suggested we go bounce somewhere private.  She agreed but we failed to connect later that night. No nookie.

4) I did not call her or text her incessantly.

5) She admitted that she was "playing hard to get" aka trying to get me to chase.  She said, "but you didn't bite."


The alternate course of action, which I would have taken early in my dating development, would have been to call her, text her, try to bait her with some clever line or conversation.  If you can grasp this concept, you will take the tunnel through the mountain instead of the long, winding trail around the mountain.

Why did I not care to chase her?  Because I have a lot of other options with women.  Sure I wanted to eventually have sex with her, but I wasn't worried or obsessed with it happening.  Women can sense this in you. You should employ this approach, my friend.

I see "need/obsession" in a lot of guys when I go out to clubs.  Women want you to chase them.  They want the power position.  My philosophy is to keep the power to myself.

I quote my very good friend on this, "Attraction is not a choice neither can it be forced."  If it's there, you can let it simmer.  By not chasing this girl, I retained my status as a desirable prize to her.  If the attraction isn't there, drop her and go talk to other women.

Eventually I ran into her again out with friends,  we both knew it was on for an after-party.  She still tried to get me to chase her, "I can't have sex with you here (in my friend's house... with my friends around)."  Of course she knew what we both wanted, but I was not desperate.  I crawled into a bed alone around 4am, she joined me a few minutes later.  This indifference is a powerful tool on a woman's psyche.  Compared to the option of begging or trying to force it; I choose intriguing indifference.

Be a triple threat and see how women respond.  You might get more than you can handle.


RHM

Enough said...

Missing the obvious...

On a recent night out,  two women in proximity at the bar interrupted my buddy and I after standing next to us for ten minutes.  One asked me, "Have you met my friend?"  and proceeded with the introductions.  What do you think that means?  Duh.  The friend was attracted to me and her "wingwoman" made the approach.

Does that happen every time?  No, but as you progress in your confidence and social skills of acting as an attractive person and making a presence in the room, the conditions become more conducive to the occurrence.

Sometimes a man is so distracted by his emotions or the beauty of a woman, he misses the obvious signs or lack thereof that she is mutually interested.  When she leaves, his buddies say, "wow she was really into you." All he could think of was the struggle to find the next topic of conversation.

This is a very important reason to hang out with male friends who understand the factors of attraction.

Other gurus call it the "attraction process"; but I am careful to use that lest you think that you can create attraction when she feels none for you.  You cannot manufacture attraction with any one particular woman.  You have to talk to enough women to find the ones attracted to you.  That's my mantra. The most control you have is to become your best: confident, sociable, self-actualized, fit, and fashionable.  Go out to have fun with your friends and leave the smell of desperation at home in your closet. The rest is up to the various tastes of sundry women. 


So what happens when you are out having a good time with a group of friends and find yourself in the midst of an interaction with a desirable woman?  Your mind is racing wondering if you can score with this woman.  You are enjoying the fun of the moment and may mistake her participation or patience for genuine attraction.


How to tell if she is attracted to you:

• positive body language movements ( I teach trainees how to read her body language)
  
• she initiates the interaction
• she asks you questions to encourage the conversation
• she does not excuse herself quickly
• She asks about your plans for the rest of the day/night/week
  

Now, attraction doesn't automatically mean she is going to jump your bones.  There are a number of logistical factors that may prevent her from acting on the animal magnetism.

You must discover enough of these elements to formulate your course of action:

• The attitudes of her friends who are present
  
• Her level of inhibition
• Her marital status
  
• Her relationship status
• Her physical status (tired from work, menstruating, has to be asleep early)
  
• Her social plans for the evening
  

You can learn to determine these factors with a few harmless questions early on in the conversation.


This may sound basic, but many men miss these signs in the heat of the moment.  You have to train your mind to recognize these while you are interacting with a woman.


Don't miss the visible signs...








RHM