Whether it's throwing a baseball, swinging a golf club, or making a sales presentation... we all learned it from somebody. The problem is that your Average Frustrated Guy never had a father, big brother, or buddy (who was good with women) teach him what to say and how to act around women.
If you are not good with women, you WILL have to learn "how-to-do-it" from someone.
I've hung out with lots of guys. I've seen the guys who score with women. I've seen the guys that latch on to the first decent girlfriend they can find. The guys that hang out with me have seen the good, the hot, and the ugly. It's transparency among friends.
Here is the problem with gurus: you buy the marketing. You have no actual idea of their ability to consistently get hot women or maintain mutually beneficial relationships with women. You spend so little time with them, it's just not a mentoring relationship.
I had a buddy help me with women... we spent COUNTLESS hours of trial and error in social venues. Trying, succeeding, and also failing. He would give me honest feedback, sometimes brutal and he was also there to high-five me.
Every man, who ever became good at something, had a mentor.
Where will you find a mentor? Are dvds and books the substitute for spending serious time with socially successful guys? Will you try to learn it from routines? Will you learn it all in a weekend bootcamp?
Will you find someone who lives in your city who is good with women? Will you make the effort to be a good and reliable wingman? Are you willing to bring something to the table in exchange for the help from others?
RHM
i agree with the importance of a mentor however it doesnt seem like one is very accessible in this category. in order to get training one must drop $2K - $3K for two and a half days, which may or may not be of any benefit. there's nothing long term and there's no guarantee of results (well the company does offer a guarantee but you know what I mean).
ReplyDeleteif you have any suggestions on how to overcome this I'm interested in hearing it.
this is something ive wanted or been interested in, having a mentor in entrepeneurship but also in pick up, but I it would have to be very cheap, perhaps looking in local lair groups?
ReplyDeletethink of what value you have to give to these mentors. intern, help them out with bs, or even just give them a chance to be a mentor to someone interested because mentoring is pretty cool in itself if you are for real. Reach out, ask questions, find like minded people, not just chicks. Google is your friend. Then its the phone or the coffee shop for an "informational interview".
ReplyDeleteDude, your blog is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI just saw your presentation on T21C. So BADASS!
It's not often I find advice that really gets it on the subject of letting women chase you, which you clearly do.
Watch for an email from me soon!
Keep up the great work!
A belated thanks for the comment Patrick... I'll try to respond more to comments.
ReplyDelete