We all know that tough life experiences can make us bitter or better. I've had my share of mistakes with women and been burned, but I also recognize the great things about a woman that I enjoy:
a woman's intuition
her nurturing nature
the touch of her hand
her want for a strong man
the way her body moves when dancing
With these great things in mind, I still don't want to chase to get what I enjoy. Because I know that no matter how sweet she may seem, she generally wants us to pursue. Some dating coaches want you to fantasize a new reality for yourself where "hot women want to sleep with you wherever you go." That might sell some sizzle, but the steak is still in the basics.
Talk to enough women to find the ones attracted to you. Learn how to better recognize attraction and recognize when she's just being socially courteous. Make yourself accessible if she really wants to get together with you. Follow up in a high value, social leader way. Learn how to say to yourself, "Next." Build a high value social life.
Most normal guys don't want to dress like Elton John and run into colleagues, old friends, or social circle members. "Nice feather boa and eyeliner, Smith." Most guys starting out cannot afford or have enough wingmen to put together a VIP champagne party every weekend.
Keep a positive attitude about where you are going, but be realistic about your current station and progress. The confidence comes with your mastery of the basics. The attraction comes from your confidence. You can make the change, it's a journey.