April 23, 2010

Positive and Realisitc

We all know that tough life experiences can make us bitter or better.  I've had my share of mistakes with women and been burned, but I also recognize the great things about a woman that I enjoy:

soft skin
pretty eyes
nice legs
warm breasts
a woman's intuition
her nurturing nature
soft voice
the touch of her hand
beautiful hair
her want for a strong man
the way her body moves when dancing

With these great things in mind, I still don't want to chase to get what I enjoy.  Because I know that no matter how sweet she may seem, she generally wants us to pursue.  Some dating coaches want you to fantasize a new reality for yourself where "hot women want to sleep with you wherever you go."  That might sell some sizzle, but the steak is still in the basics.

Talk to enough women to find the ones attracted to you.  Learn how to better recognize attraction and recognize when she's just being socially courteous.  Make yourself accessible if she really wants to get together with you.  Follow up in a high value, social leader way.  Learn how to say to yourself, "Next."  Build a high value social life.

Most normal guys don't want to dress like Elton John and run into colleagues, old friends, or social circle members.  "Nice feather boa and eyeliner, Smith."  Most guys starting out cannot afford or have enough wingmen to put together a VIP champagne party every weekend.

Keep a positive attitude about where you are going, but be realistic about your current station and progress.  The confidence comes with your mastery of the basics.  The attraction comes from your confidence.  You can make the change, it's a journey.



  1. RHM,

    I've noticed that their are not very many comments on the articles you write, so I decided to drop a line.

    To put it simply: You're advice and over all outlook on male success is truly revolutionary.

    Every article that you write and presentation that you give (via the 21 convention) force men to rethink their role as a man in this crazy world.

    Your views on women and overall male awesomeness have truly had an impact on the way that I see the world.

    Keep up the good work


  2. "Learn how to better recognize attraction and recognize when she's just being socially courteous."

    That is some of the most simple, solid advice I've ever read.

  3. Hey tim. Its dan asdfn. Your account of post divorce online domination laid the path for my Miami strategy. I ended up sticking with one for the last 8 months. To illustrate her character she was voted Hialeah High's Pretties Senior and didnt know she was entered in the competition till after graduation. If work doesnt force me outside of latinalandia I am gonna make her make a genius alpha male to save our species.

    Hope all is well. Tell Nauti hi. I was at Ultra's going away blast. What a weird couple of years we had. Harder to get to Orlando these days. Just had a taste of nicaragua last month tho. anywasy the ambien is knocking me out. Come to miami lets party!

  4. I think it's important to set goals that aren't TOO unrealistic, but they have to be slightly unrealistic for them to pull you out of your comfort zone.

    Most guys won't even bother visualizing a girl approaching them...let alone wanting to leave at a bar...because they have no confidence in themselves that it could happen. Yet most guys who aren't complete beginners can tell you this happens all the time.

    RHM, can you see why this is important in recognizing attraction? If a guy doesn't even believe these things are possible, AND he has never even visualized what it would look like, then some girl is going to be eye-fucking him from across the room and his brain will rationalize it as, "She must be a hooker" or something just as ridiculous.

    You know how guys say, "I just couldn't see myself doing (something)"? The key word is SEE. That's why visualizations are very very very important.

  5. Dan: good to get an update, it's been far too long... roadtrip to Miami is in order.

    Patrick Chase: I agree that visualizations are important. A former business coach was a big fan of that process. Additionally, as a man talks to more women he becomes more comfortable with the interactions. As he progresses he can focus less on "what to say next" and more on the body language that communicates 95% of her intent.

  6. Here's the scoop on what I just wrote:



I like the robust exchange of ideas. Mature, relevant comments will be kept regardless of viewpoint.