December 9, 2007

Are relationships like fresh fish?

Fresh fish and house guests go bad in a few days, even in the best of conditions. But what about new dating relationships? Charlie Sheen once said, "You don't pay them for the sex, you pay them to leave"

From my experience, the shelf life of new, exciting relationships is about 4 to 6 months. This occurs even when you are getting some strange on the side. Unless she is your super-duper ideal girl, you will get sick of her shit and realize there is another woman elsewhere better suited for you.

At the 3-4 month mark for you:

1) Her physical flaws become more noticeable
2) She starts pushing for some sort of commitment
3) Her unusual quirks become less cute and more annoying

At the 3-4 month mark for her:

1) He won't promise exclusivity
2) He spends too much time with HIS friends/work/etc and not me
3) He doesn't validate me enough
4) He is just using me

Then it takes a month or two for either party to garner the bravado to sever the ties.


Whatever you do, even in your most emotionally-vulnerable, drunken stupor; DO NOT let those three words she desires cross your lips unless you first go home and think about for 3 days. I <3 U is the Trophy she wants to declare to her friends.


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