September 6, 2007

Hey bro, what DO you want?

Worst line ever for guys, and you’d better never let it leave your lips:

Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) and Dorothy (Renee Zelwegger) watch the scene play out in the elevator between the deaf couple, he later repeats that sacrilegious line to her as his oath of love, “You complete me.” (Excuse me while I throw up.)

When I was 16 years old, all I wanted was a girlfriend. A cute one. A girlfriend that would bring some validation that I was cool enough, attractive enough, and man enough. I got one and she broke my little heart when she went away. I had ZERO clue how to attract women, all I knew how to do was chase. I repeated the same scenario when I was seventeen. I was caught in this cloud of bad thinking that having a girlfriend was some sort of proof that I was a man.

Oh, I got this girlfriend thing totally covered. Look at me, I am mature. When I was halfway through college, I thought that getting a wife would be the next benchmark of maturity. That’s the next step to adulthood – marriage. I better keep this woman - she will make a good wife. But, I had no clue about wife criteria… chalk one up to being 20 and thinking that I knew everything.

These same thoughts permeate the consciousness of most men. It comes at you at different ages and different stages. A man in his 20’s thinks, “I have to get a girlfriend.” A man in his 30’s thinks, “I have to get a wife.” But I am here to tell you that the woman is not the missing piece. She is the “helping” piece. She will have more respect for you if you are a whole person on your own.

There exists a big difference in a woman “completing” you versus a woman “helping” you achieve your personal mission in life. If she has her own agenda, she is not wifely material.

Here’s what you need to do to:

1) Read lots of books. Books on personal development. Books on self-actualization. Spiritual books. Books on financial management. Wealth-building books.

2) Talk to men who are older and wiser. Pay attention to the stories that surround your life.

3) Travel. Go other places. See the world. Taste other cultures.

Figure out who you are and what you want. It will change as you grow, but get a good idea of where you are and where you are going as a man, before you add a woman to the mix.


1 comment:

I like the robust exchange of ideas. Mature, relevant comments will be kept regardless of viewpoint.