November 23, 2007

Sex life on limited budget

I have heard the occasional comment from a guy who is not going out because he has limited funds. Whatever the reason: you are in college, business is slow, you got bills, etc. That should not stop you from going out and meeting women. Since you are a man and not a chump, you don't need to worry about dating.

Places to meet women for free:

outdoor malls

Meeting women in bars/clubs:

drink water OR don't drink at all (if you are busy talking to people, no one will notice)
avoid clubs with cover charges
be a fun guy and people will buy you drinks

Inexpensive dates:

coffee shop
park: lakefront or waterfront (water is romantic, emotional, sexy, etc)
beach (if it's close, damn you guys who live 5 minutes from the beach)
your place (DVDs, video games, dinner)
her place

Establish the "sexual guy" frame, avoid the provider frame:

Remove the old mentality that you have to take her on a traditional date. Women will push for this, they will expect it unless YOU establish the frame in advance. You must establish the frame that your interaction is based on connecting as two individuals attracted to each other; not connecting as a guy trying to impress your way into her pants. Women are more turned on by your conversation than they are by what you can buy them.

When you connect with her for the first time and establish attraction and build comfort, you are setting the tone for the entire relationship; however short (5 minutes in a bar) or long ( a lay...maybe more) it lasts. All the fun she needs to have can be encapsulated in your conversation and physical touch.

If you are an interesting man: good stories, fun vibe, adventurous, good conversationalist... she won't even notice that you are doing simple things. A walk in the park, hanging out watching DVDs, or going to a coffee shop.

I have had sex with plenty of women for less than $10 out of pocket expenses. Some have asked me to take them out for fun, dancing... etcetera, before they go further, but I have to stick to my plan and not invest in them unless they have physically invested in me with strong reciprocation of physical touch.

Nothing is more frustrating than to take a woman out, buy a ticket or drinks and then have her shut you down on anything sexual. That's the game women play, making you work hard. The game we play is working smarter.

Once you have sex with her without spending a lot on her, the frame is set for a sexual relationship. You can't go back and neither can she. Once you've established the frame that "we connect sexually and enjoy it" all dates after that can begin and end at your place or hers. The sex will dry up when/if she feels like you are not investing in her. My friend says, "women control the sex, men control the commitment." So keep investing through phone calls, emails, texts... but not $; and see how long you hang out. That is, unless you don't like sex.


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