January 29, 2008

Know when to hold 'em... know when to fold 'em














Friday afternoon: I plan to meet a pretty woman for drinks. We're supposed to have coffee but she calls to change it to a bar/restaurant. Umm, ok. But I tell her I am not hungry and am not going to eat.


I meet her there and she asks if I mind if she eats something. I tell her that I agreed to meet for coffee but I am not buying her food. "If you want to get some food and pay for it, feel free to eat in front of me."


She order fajitas. Hmmm. A light snack. She drones on and on about her vampire ex-boyfriend who still controls her with witchcraft and is trying to get to her to do porn pics. (I kid you not.) For those of you who understand the terminology, she looked "oppressed."


About 30 minutes in, I found myself trying to figure out any way to salvage value from this interaction. But the whole thing was wigging me out and and my spidey-sense was telling me that she would probably try to stick me with the check. She had zero table manners as well, didn't pick up one utensil and talked with her mouth full.


I excused myself, went and paid the waiter for $3 for my soda and told him she was a nut-job. I came back to the table and said to crazy woman,

"I just paid the server for my drink. This whole thing is too strange for me. Best of luck."


I left her sitting at the table with her halfway through her meal and walked right out of the restaurant. Right out the door.


Here's the email she sent me...

"hey...

thanks so much for leaving me w/ the tab...that is so moral of a loser like you to do. I could care less what u think of me because no offense...you're not someone who anyone would be swooning over...u are a total dink and leech, and asshole...who can't pay for women not because u dont want to pay for them but probably because you want to steal and take from them yourself. That is soo sad and pathetic...women need to be warned of junk like you out there..it's one thing to not pay for someone but to steal and expect ppl to pay 'your' tab...that is a whole other low....im sure you'll get plenty of dates..ciao asshole/loser"



The total beauty of this is that she probably didn't have the money to pay for her food. I hope she got a good taste of her own games.


Would a woman still want you to take her to dinner if she was paying the tab?


RHM

January 24, 2008

The games women play















The hotter you think she is, the more likely you will succumb.


Before you think I am writing another sour note about women… consider the rising tide: Oprah, Dr. Phil, Ellen, Cosmo, Glamour, and countless others paint women out to be the victims.


Before it’s a foregone conclusion that women are victims, let’s take a look at some of the games women play very well. Not all women play all the games all the time. But all women play some of the games some of the time.


These games typically involve women seeking sponsors (men) who think approval, affection, and/or fidelity can be purchased. We are in an era when a woman can be President of the United States, when women deserve equal pay for equal work, when women can ruin a man’s reputation with a mere accusation… BUT the man is supposed to be the financial sponsor. Chivalry, my ass.


Bar Drinks: Getting all dressed up in the sexy “come-do-me” clothes they wouldn’t wear to the office. Then going to a bar knowing plenty of suckers will buy their drinks. Game-player flirts with the unsuspecting sap until it’s time to go. The really brazen game-player will ask outright, “buy me a drink, please.” You douche-bags who comply continue the bad precedent.


Last weekend I was out at a happy hour and decided to dive-bomb into a closed circle of five attractive women as my buddies watched the ensuing mayhem. I advise them that no men will talk to them if they have the wagons circled. They did their best with sarcastic comments to get me to leave tail-tucked into the night; but I was steadfast in breaking down their bitch-shields. The head cutie told me I should buy them a drink. I countered that they owed me for my bravado in putting up with their poor manners. She was verbally beating me back while her friend brought me two Michelob Ultras. I like this game.


No-strings attached hookups: I want you, you want me. After the rendezvous, the game changes. “I have a few expectations…” These boil down to you becoming her boyfriend


Lunches/Dinners: The infamous bad deal for the man. Read my article or Paul Janka’s about why this is such a bad idea. It seems best to just avoid the whole dining-out routine. If the woman really likes you for you, she’ll want to cook for you, or come to your house for dinner.

Yesterday, I met a 29 year old chick for coffee. There's no Starbucks near her house (how they missed her particular corner is beyond me) so reluctantly I take her to Appleby's for coffee. We had a good hour or more of conversation. The sexual vibe is on like donkey kong.

I am running out of time because it's the middle of the day... so the date has to end soon. She asks me if we are going to eat,

Chick: "Are we going to order some food?"
RHM: "Let's go to your house and you can cook me something. Are you a good cook?"
Chick: "I am a good cook, but I don't have any food to cook you."
RHM: "What?"
Chick: "I didn't eat and we've been talking a long time, I am hungry."
RHM: "no, the plan was/is to meet for coffee."
Chick: "but when the woman is hungry, that's the polite thing to do."
RHM: "I've run out of time, I have to get back"
Chick: "That's okay, order me some takeout to go."
RHM: "Look, I am not your Daddy, it's not my job to feed you"
Chick: "If you don't have the money, just say so."
RHM: "Oh I have the money, but I am not spending it"
Chick: " Well, I assure you I can buy my own... I am going to email you my bank statement."
RHM: "I am certain you have the money to buy lunch for the entire restaurant. (I am certain she doesn't), but that doesn't change my mind"
Chick: "Well, this is a date, this is what you're supposed to do"
RHM: "No babe. This is us getting to know each other. I've bought dinner before and never heard from the chick again. If we see each other again then we can have a 'date'."

Hard-core sexy pressure as she batted those big brown eyes. She mustered every ounce of feminine wiles... but I held the line.



Shopping: is any guy really this stupid? Nah…


Weekend trips: see above and just substitute the word “getaway” for “dinner.” Every girl wants to go to Vegas, New York, the beach or a cruise for the weekend. For some guys this is their version of pay-for-play. I am guilty, I’ve done it before. Just be careful to collect your “$200” when you pass Go. On the rare occasion, you get a screaming good travel deal when you wanted to get out of town anyways; AND you think the trade of your time and money will be returned in a weekend of gratuitous sex… then go for it. As long as you’re certain this particular woman will deliver the goods.


Co-habitation
: I have a friend and this is killing him. No marriage, no kids, but a world of manipulation on her part. It’s kind of funny that some women miss the “co” part of that equation. These days you have a mortgage/rent, utilities, insurances, cable, internet, maintenance and grocery bills. Crack open your checkbook honey, you probably took some dude’s job in the marketplace.


Engagement rings: the penultimate finger trophy for the never-married. A couple years ago, I was acquainted with a woman going through a divorce with less than a year into the marriage. The husband wanted the $10,000 engagement ring back…how do you think that ended? Sorry about your luck sucker. Wait to buy the fancy diamond until she’s popped out a few offspring for you. Once she’s your baby-momma, whether happily-ever-after or divorce, she will always be in your life.


Baby-daddy: “We don’t need a condom, I’m on birth control.” Be especially vigilant with baby-less women in the 30-38 range who exude a ticking sound. After women conquer the marketplace, they feel compelled to conquer motherhood. Some feel justified to attempt these juxtaposed jobs simultaneously. My sympathy if you and your siblings were raised by this type of mother. Also be watchful with women from a significantly, lower socio-economic strata than you. You may be mistaken for Mr. One-Way Ticket to a new life.


Have I covered everything?


RHM

January 15, 2008

The life we live afterwards...






















Robert Redford as Roy Hobbs in The Natural had this exchange with his intriguing love interest:

Iris: You know, I believe we have two lives.
Roy: How... what do you mean?
Iris: The life we learn with and the life we live with after that.


I know that many men have had this experience post-divorce. We had a “life we learned with” and a “life we live afterwards.” It’s very similar to the lives that men live after they become smooth around women and not some try-hard chump, mesmerized by the power of pussy.


Many of us are living a "life we live afterwards." I know, I've heard your stories.


Countless gurus claim the ability to teach men how to get women. Various game plans are championed and yet lots of men are self-taught naturals with women.


Can you be taught and given a set of tools OR do you morph into a “natural” with the ladies? Here are some common characteristics of men who attract women. These are the characteristics of men who have worked hard to become “comfortably myself” around women.


Be good looking

Be exciting

Be sexy

Be sensual

Be funny

Be mysterious

Be challenging

Be successful


I believe a man can work on himself and improve these areas of his life. The greater degree to which you possess more of the above characteristics will increase your sexual and relational options with beautiful women. If you follow suit, you will be living the "life we live afterwards."



RHM