February 20, 2008

Maintaining Multiple Friends with Benefits...

Women enjoy sex as much men.
Chisel that into the granite between your ears.

How does a guy maintain multiple friends with benefits?

One word.... F-R-A-M-E.

"I like your company, you like mine. I enjoy having sex with you. We can hang out when both of our schedules allow."

The tricky thing with FB's is that if you keep them long term they become a non-traditional girlfriend. I treat them nice but in a non-traditional way, meaning very few "dates."

They have an implicit understanding that there exist other women in your world. It's just not a good idea to go into details of who/what/where/when/how. And you certainly do not want to know who they are sleeping with besides you.

They will be watching your actions to see if you are communicating a deeper relationship. That's what many of them desire.

Here are my personal guidelines:

1) Phone communication/text message once weekly, maybe twice. Maintain space.

2) No gifts/romantic cards/notes/emails. If dinner, it's at her house. Maybe mine.

3) Relationship is of a sexual nature not a nurturing one, request for time = booty calls

4) Use compliments sparingly; especially in the heat of passion or the afterglow

5) Do not get emotional with them, only enough emotional push/pull that they know you have some iota of care for them

6) Henry Ford rule: always meet subordinates at their office, you can leave when you are finished (in case you missed that... meet at her house)

7) Twice a week with any one particular chick is the maximum. If you need more sex, go get another FB.

8 ) Limit overnight stays. Since it's a big emotional benchmark for a chick, staying overnight is usually too "boyfriend/girlfriend." Most guys do it to get the a.m. round of sex... try to maintain emotional space.

The whole relationship is a balance between: you using her and her using you. She will leave if/when a better deal comes along. Or you can let her fall by the wayside as you improve the quality of your rotation. A steady supply of sex will improve your bedroom skills, techniques, and stamina.

Now you have options, just like a hot babe...



  1. What about going from an exclusive relationship to friends with benefits. Obviously there are feeling there from both sides in a sense so how do you go from that to sex and nothing more. It seems impossible without emotionally damaging each other to some extent. What about being a friend with benefits with an ex and then also becoming a friend with benefits with someone else at the same time. Is it wrong to feel guilty about the second friend with benefits even though the ex was the one who initiated the end of relationship and beginning of friends with benefits? Should the second friend with benefits relationship be avoided? Also if the person with the multiple friends with benefits is the female in the situation does that make her a slut?

  2. She dumped you. If it's good sex, continue to have it on YOUR terms.

    It sounda like banging FWB#2 will boost your confidence. I would guess you need a heaping helping of confidence around women.

    Yes, she's a slut. It's the old double standard, but this time you don't get the short end of the stick



I like the robust exchange of ideas. Mature, relevant comments will be kept regardless of viewpoint.