August 20, 2008

Another slice of rejection, anyone?

Fear of rejection is bad because of the REJECTION. No one likes it.

Unfortunately, many guys think they need to develop thick skin. It's counter-productive to act outlandish or corner a woman until the point she rejects you. It's a fruitless activity that makes you think you are actually strengthening your skills. Think of rejection more as a virus that eats away at your inside instead of a an external force trying to penetrate your epidermis.

Chasing sets you up for rejection.

The women that doesn't:

swoon at your opening line
return your text
return your call
keep the date you set

affects your inner state.

All these things chip away, little by little, at your self esteem. Instead of trying to build an immunity, limit the situations that create, opportunity for and depth of, emotional rejection.

Of course, it's silly to say, "we'll then, I won't ever approach a woman." I am not talking about opening. We, as the man, have to lead; but leading is creating the right framework for the interaction and setting the precedent for the relationship.

Chasing is following.

Best way to lead the interaction is to give her room to chase. Go easy on the phone calls and texts. Give her time and emotional space. Don't profess too much of your interest in her.

I know that I really falter on this when I meet a woman who I really dig. It's easy to act this way with your average female, but the hot women test my resolve.

I don't want anything chipping away at my self esteem.



  1. Not a lot of advices in 2009? I enjoy your writing. Please keep it up.

  2. I think he must have gotten married again! (egads)

    You were doing a good job, RH, helping some of us.

    What happened?


I like the robust exchange of ideas. Mature, relevant comments will be kept regardless of viewpoint.