September 25, 2009

Bad advice from a pretty source...


I never took this too seriously in my younger years, because I thought women were a good source of advice about women.  I can't stress this enough:  men need advice from MEN about dating and relationships.  Most western women (U.S. and western Europe) and male "experts" will give you advice from a post 1960's, feminist perspective.

Yes, that little movement really messed things up for American culture... ahh but that is another story for a another day.

Here's the problem, most women have not picked-up, dated, or been in a relationship with a woman. Most women hang on to the hope for a fairytale romance; and we all know those do not exist.  All women know a girl who knew a girl who was swept off her feet by a personal prince charming.  But if you could take a inside look the actual relationship between Prince Charming and Princess Entitled you would see challenges, jealousies, and conflict minor or major.  Most people put on a good face because they don't want the world to see their dirty laundry.

Your first thought may be, "Hey , tell me something I don't know. I already have this locked down."

Check it out though.... some guys rely on a woman's perspective at three junctions:

  • upon meeting the really hot woman
  • after they enter a relationship
  • when he has isolated himself from his male friends

When she is really hot...

he thinks that this ONE is the exception to the rule.  She dictates to him the agenda for getting in her pants.  "You need to get to know me before we jump in bed."  "I like to be treated like a lady, take me to dinner."  "I am very cautious about getting intimate."  "I don't have sex on the first date."

After they enter a relationship...

she tells him how she wants to be treated based on her whims and emotions.  "I want to hang out with your buddies and you."  "You spend too much time with your friends." "You spend too much time with your family/kids."   "I need at least once date night a week."  "I can't cook for you all the time."  "I'm too tired to have sex every day."  "I know you watch your dietary habits, but I can't eat that way."  "Are you planning something special for the holiday?"

When he has isolated himself from his male friends...

now he has no sounding board, no one who will dare tell him the bitter truth. "I could move in with you."  "Let's plan our future."    "We should invest in my career."  "I really want a baby."  "We should take a big trip together."  "We should get a house of our own."

Now she has full influence over him barring an intervention by his concerned friends or family members.  Why do people always say, "well, I saw that coming..."  Why don't they have the guts to be candid when they see their friend headed for an emotional or financial cliff?

A few bits of good advice to keep your friend from careening off the cliff... (don't be surprised when she jumps out once you've hit bottom)

  • Your family and friends were there BEFORE her
  • Your family and friends will be there AFTER her
  • Plan and pursue your dreams
  • She must be a help to your personal, professional, and financial goals not a hindrance
  • Work your plan and don't be sidetracked by her whims and desires
  • Your money is yours, never hers
  • Your time is yours, never hers

Tell them I said so...


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