September 15, 2009

Don't swoon

Swoon is a term used to express happiness or excitement, to be overwhelmed by joy or emotion toward something or someone.

My good friend texts me yesterday... "I am at Barnes and Noble witnessing what apparently is an internet date."  He gives me a great play-by-play as he observes their interaction. 

"The guy actually brought a rose!"

"His cologne is awfully strong..."

"They're so awkward... he asked her if she wanted dinner."

"She's an attractive girl, spinner... probably 26"

"He's very polite.. lol"

"Oh they're talking religion"

"She must like him... She's asking 'what do you think about me?' "

"He says, 'oh, that's a bold question!' "

"She's telling him about feng shui"

"She thinks he's such a gentleman"

This poor guy has been indoctrinated by TV commercials, sitcoms, and chick flicks... he is following those worn-out hollywood/madison avenue scripts.  There's a lesson in here for you guys.

He sets his frame as a chaser.  Even before he knows if this girl is a keeper or a nut job,  he brings a rose as an offering.  What that really communicates: "you are higher value than me and I must impress you."

He establishes the standard of being a sponsor.  He offered her dinner.  What has she done to deserve HIS attention and affection?  She hasn't earned dinner yet!

He creates his identity as a gentleman in her mind.  Women expect gentleman to pursue them. Be the first to initiate communication.  Call her later to say how much he enjoyed meeting her. Text her to tell her he was thinking about her.  He will get to "date" her, but she will make him EARN her affection.

If we could reverse time we would have him flip the script.

No rose. Ask her some tough questions about her life choices.  Be a bit aloof.  Ask her if she cooks and what she specialty she would make for him.  Ask her the questions where she reveals some of her shortcomings.

Flip the old script and don't make the rookie mistakes... don't swoon.  Keep your emotion in check.


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