October 19, 2009

Missing the obvious...

On a recent night out,  two women in proximity at the bar interrupted my buddy and I after standing next to us for ten minutes.  One asked me, "Have you met my friend?"  and proceeded with the introductions.  What do you think that means?  Duh.  The friend was attracted to me and her "wingwoman" made the approach.

Does that happen every time?  No, but as you progress in your confidence and social skills of acting as an attractive person and making a presence in the room, the conditions become more conducive to the occurrence.

Sometimes a man is so distracted by his emotions or the beauty of a woman, he misses the obvious signs or lack thereof that she is mutually interested.  When she leaves, his buddies say, "wow she was really into you." All he could think of was the struggle to find the next topic of conversation.

This is a very important reason to hang out with male friends who understand the factors of attraction.

Other gurus call it the "attraction process"; but I am careful to use that lest you think that you can create attraction when she feels none for you.  You cannot manufacture attraction with any one particular woman.  You have to talk to enough women to find the ones attracted to you.  That's my mantra. The most control you have is to become your best: confident, sociable, self-actualized, fit, and fashionable.  Go out to have fun with your friends and leave the smell of desperation at home in your closet. The rest is up to the various tastes of sundry women. 

So what happens when you are out having a good time with a group of friends and find yourself in the midst of an interaction with a desirable woman?  Your mind is racing wondering if you can score with this woman.  You are enjoying the fun of the moment and may mistake her participation or patience for genuine attraction.

How to tell if she is attracted to you:

  • positive body language movements ( I teach trainees how to read her body language)
  • she initiates the interaction
  • she asks you questions to encourage the conversation
  • she does not excuse herself quickly
  • She asks about your plans for the rest of the day/night/week
Now, attraction doesn't automatically mean she is going to jump your bones.  There are a number of logistical factors that may prevent her from acting on the animal magnetism.

You must discover enough of these elements to formulate your course of action:
  • The attitudes of her friends who are present
  • Her level of inhibition
  • Her marital status
  • Her relationship status
  • Her physical status (tired from work, menstruating, has to be asleep early)
  • Her social plans for the evening

You can learn to determine these factors with a few harmless questions early on in the conversation.

This may sound basic, but many men miss these signs in the heat of the moment.  You have to train your mind to recognize these while you are interacting with a woman.

Don't miss the visible signs...


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