October 23, 2009

Be a triple threat...

Threat one: Lifestyle

Your lifestyle has so much to do with who will be attracted to you. If you are a fun, social, outgoing guy with good people skills you will attract fun, social women who like to go out. Push yourself to become more friendly cool (not clingy creepy) and draw more folks into your sphere of influence.

What can you do today to expand your social circle and improve your friendships?
  • Send a text to your buddy.  
  • Check in with new friends. 
  • Make definite plans to hangout together.

Threat two: Sex

Someone posed this question to me a year ago: "How do you find girls like sex?  in other words whats the best way to sex them up" 

Here's my experience:
  • Women like sex with guys they like. 
  • Women enjoy sex with guys they like who know how get them off.
  • Women will hang on to guys that are lackluster in the sack as long as they like him outside the bedroom.
  • Women will chase and sponsor guys they like who know how to get them off.
The best way I have found to bang her (so that I get invited back) is the way that gives her an orgasm.  Find out what gets her off and then decide if you like doing that.  Find out if she likes doing what gets you off.  It's called sexual compatibility.

Sometimes the situation calls for foreplay.  Sometimes the situation calls for fast action.  There is an almost infinite combination of foreplay, positions, and sexual acts.  Your confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac for her.

Threat three: Intrigue

Here's a real life example...

1) I met this woman and we exchanged phone numbers after the first encounter.  Two days later I had a 20 minutes conversation with her.

2) I did not text her or call her incessantly after that.

3) Three weeks after that, I saw her in a bar and suggested we go bounce somewhere private.  She agreed but we failed to connect later that night. No nookie.

4) I did not call her or text her incessantly.

5) She admitted that she was "playing hard to get" aka trying to get me to chase.  She said, "but you didn't bite."

The alternate course of action, which I would have taken early in my dating development, would have been to call her, text her, try to bait her with some clever line or conversation.  If you can grasp this concept, you will take the tunnel through the mountain instead of the long, winding trail around the mountain.

Why did I not care to chase her?  Because I have a lot of other options with women.  Sure I wanted to eventually have sex with her, but I wasn't worried or obsessed with it happening.  Women can sense this in you. You should employ this approach, my friend.

I see "need/obsession" in a lot of guys when I go out to clubs.  Women want you to chase them.  They want the power position.  My philosophy is to keep the power to myself.

I quote my very good friend on this, "Attraction is not a choice neither can it be forced."  If it's there, you can let it simmer.  By not chasing this girl, I retained my status as a desirable prize to her.  If the attraction isn't there, drop her and go talk to other women.

Eventually I ran into her again out with friends,  we both knew it was on for an after-party.  She still tried to get me to chase her, "I can't have sex with you here (in my friend's house... with my friends around)."  Of course she knew what we both wanted, but I was not desperate.  I crawled into a bed alone around 4am, she joined me a few minutes later.  This indifference is a powerful tool on a woman's psyche.  Compared to the option of begging or trying to force it; I choose intriguing indifference.

Be a triple threat and see how women respond.  You might get more than you can handle.


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