Single men: act more like a hot babe

Exhibit A: Last weekend, I had a date set up with a woman. I called her the day of the date to confirm and let her know the agenda. She stalled and balked, she was fishing for a different activity. I had to finish some business and when she waited too long to call me back, I made plans with a buddy, and left her hanging. It's been about four days, and I still haven't called her. Am I interested? Yes. Does she know that? Right about now, she is thinking no. I like the push and pull, so I will call her again.


Exhibit B: Eight days ago, I had a intimate, romantic rendezvous with a woman. She told me she doesn't share, haha. The next four days she hit me hard and heavy with texts and messages. I ignored her. Only responded with one message. Fast forward to yesterday. I saw her again, she was so happy to see me and actively showed me.


Exhibit C: One evening last week; I met, conversed, and connected with two different women. They both individually agreed to hang out again. I have called and texted them both. One responded but is being elusive. The other has ignored me.


How do I deal with all these women?


It's pretty funny what most guys will forgive/overlook when chasing a hot piece of ass. (Don't you just love that chauvinistic terminology?) I've been as guilty of it as the next guy.

Here are a few of the things the hot women do:

Don't call you back right away
Ignore your phone calls and text messages
Wait a few days to answer your email
Cancel on a date at the last minute
Expect you to buy the drinks/dinner/tickets
Don't talk to you again after you've knocked boots
Flirt with you to keep you chasing for weeks


I think it is good to adopt some of the above actions when dealing with women. But it's hard to do this unless you have the following pieces in place:

1) A list of other life goals that you are accomplishing, it's good for your self esteem

2) More than one woman with whom you are interested in spending time, the more the better

3) A regular method of adding prospects to your rotation


Once you realize that one woman will not make or break you, you are free to act like it doesn't matter how she responds. You can act like a hot piece of ass. How's that for messing with her mindset?


It's confirmed for me on a weekly basis, women dig it when you are a challenge. Being difficult just makes them want you more.




RHM

Watch what they do, not what they say…

I will admit that in my weaker moments I have watched a chick flick. Hiss booo. However, one of my favorite movie lines comes from “As Good as It Gets.” Jack Nicholson, as novelist Melvin Udell, has this classic exchange with his publisher’s receptionist:

Receptionist: (fawning over Melvin) "How do you write women so well?
Melvin: "I think of a man and take away reason and accountability.”


That's so enlightened, it’s scary. How many times have you felt like your crush/date/girlfriend/wife was saying one thing and doing another. This is that "lack of reason and accountability." It shows she is ruled by her emotions.


Here’s a pertinent piece of wisdom... self-discovered by many men on the road to relational maturity:


Don’t believe what women SAY, watch what they DO.


Men are hounded to be “good” listeners… that’s what all the relationship books tell us. Why do they have to tell this to men? Intuitively, over time, we men have learned that much of what women say is “white noise.”


It’s better to make your decisions based on keen observation of behavior.


Did you get that? Let me say it another way.


It’s better to make your decisions based on keen observation of behavior.


Here are some examples:

Women bitch about “how bad men are” and yet continually tolerate/accept their boyfriend’s or husband’s bad behavior. (Note: it wouldn’t hurt the average American male to be more of a bad boy)

Women complain about men sleeping around; but who do you think we are sleeping with? That's right, women.

Women say, “I have a husband/fiancé/boyfriend;” yet she’s out with her single friends. Twenty minutes later, you see her performing a tonsillectomy, with her tongue, on some guy she just met.

Women tell us “buy a woman a drink if you are interested in her"; and yet, it sets you up as a chump in their eyes.

Women say, “I am really into you / I like you / I want to spend time with you” but they shut you down in the bedroom.

Women say they want to meet a nice guy, but act nice and you will be filed in the “let’s just be friends” category.

Women say "I just want to be your friend"; okay cool, but how come you're not reaching for your wallet when the bill comes, Missy? Friends go dutch, right?

Woman says, "I am saving myself for marriage," dig a little and you discover she does everything but vaginal sex.



On a more positive note:

She calls you an "asshole"; she is turned on by your masculinity.

She says, “I don’t want to have sex with you”; she cannot get that idea off her mind.

She tells you “no”; she is testing you to see if you are man enough to disagree.

She says “we really shouldn’t be doing this”; she is having a great time.



Rather confusing, isn’t it all? Once your brain gets re-programmed with this little insight, you will be able to discern between the white noise and her true desires.


RHM

I kissed dating goodbye

It’s over. The fat lady has sung. Elvis has left the building.

The idea of traditional dating doesn’t appeal to me anymore. Does it appeal to you? If it does, you should have your head examined.

It goes something like this:

Boy meets girl
Boy likes girl
Boy asks girl to _________
Boy drives to pick up girl
Boy pays for ___________
Boy drives girl home
Boy gets a kiss on the cheek and a hug for his efforts.


Lots of resources and experts abound for "how to meet women." With some social skills and a little effort, it’s not too difficult.

As a teenager, my mother would ask me every year what I wanted for Christmas. I would always reply “something five-foot-two and eyes of blue” under the tree. She would laugh and say, “you wouldn’t know what to do with her.”

We know what Mom meant, but I think her words are profound.

What ARE you going to do when you get one?


Wine and dine? Woo and coo? Tell her how wonderful you think she is (because that’s what women say they want)? Spoil her? Pamper her? Stay up all night talking? Drop all your friends to spend time with her? Marry her?

Dating ads are ripe with requests from women for a “man” that will do all these things. It’s funny because they are describing their best girlfriend.


Here’s what you should do when you get one:

Hang out with your man friends just like always.
Dole out those compliments to her sparingly.
Speak your mind, don’t tiptoe around her feelings.
Have her cook for you.
Tell her no, often. You heard me, “NO.”
Keep her hands off your money. Do not pay for her necessities (clothes, food, rent, etc)
Take her to do the things you want to do.
Be creative and spend less money on activities (parks, lakes, beaches, coffee houses...)
Limit the amount of time you spend together.
Let her calls go to voice mail, answer sparingly.
Still look at and talk to other women. She’s not your wife.


If she sticks around, it’s because she likes YOU. She should stick around because of your identity as a man, not just what you can provide.


Please, please, please… don’t get sucked into her harlequin novel. A good man is hard to find, make her earn her keep.



RHM

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...

An interesting thing happened in America after World War II. Women stayed in the workforce. Closets in houses grew in size and number. Garages became standard and then we needed two or three bays. One television wasn’t enough. Divorce skyrocketed. Each kid got his or her own room. Entertainment centers replaced bookshelves. Kitchens got bigger and families cooked less. Five years made a car “old.” The formal living room was replaced with the home office.


What “stuff” would you really miss, if you got rid of it?
Would you miss your car payment?
Would you miss what’s playing on the other 295 channels of satellite TV?
Would you miss half the clothes in your closet?
Would you miss the extra bedroom?
Would you miss your stressed-out wife’s demanding career?


What would you do with the extra money you would save if you simplified your life?
Where would you go? What would you do?
Would you travel more… collecting photographs, memories, and stories?
Would you invest it in your future?


Would you miss the Joneses?


Most women mistake the accumulation of possessions for financial success. Many men allow their families to be enslaved in financial bondage because they "need" the bigger house, the shiny car, and the new furniture.


Very few men are strong enough to keep it simple once they get married. It's a lot easier to maintain a simple life than it is to cut back once you've tasted the possessions.


Look back at the photo above. The best things in life are simple.




RHM