October 6, 2009

What is your goal with women?

Men generally seek one of two goals in their pursuit of women:

1) Sex

2) Relationship

Number one is obvious and quite funny that women act so offended by it. We men are driven by the wonderful desire to conquer... economically, tribally, and sexually. If you only want sex from her, then put the kibosh on relationship behaviors.  Be straightforward and candid while escalating, you'll find the women who are seeking the same thing.

Number two is a little more tricky.  Some men want a relationship of some form or function.
  • Maybe getting sex regularly from the same woman without a lot of hassle.  
  • Maybe a guy is tired of being alone all the time and desires some companionship.    
  • Maybe a guy wants to prove something to the world by his arm candy

Are you experienced enough to know what you you want?  Have you seriously considered what deep, lasting thing she might provide for your life?  Which of the following do you desire: nurture, sexual relationship, hospitality, companionship, child bearing?
(read: What does she bring to the table for you?)

You need to sit down and think about your goal... your purpose.  This will help you change or refocus your behavior to match your goal. 

Last weekend I talked with a friend about his dating life.  So many men are trapped in an outdated mindset.  I asked him why he was still using old behaviors. If you are stuck in old patterns, let me ask you the same tough question.  Why are you still sponsoring lunches or drink dates?  Why are you sponsoring trips?

"Because I can afford to to so" is a bad reason.  There are far better charities (with more intrinsic reward) in which to invest your time, money, or specialized skills than the local hottie you met online or at the club.

Who do you think is the prize?  You or her?  If you are looking for sex versus a relationship, stop trying to build a relationship.

Take a look at your goals with women.  You might need to make some adjustments.


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